29-year-old unexpectedly hosts sister and brother-in-law for weekend, offends them claiming she'll kick them out for making noise with cutlery: 'From the start, they were entitled and disrespectful'

a woman sits at a table, looking down at a plate of toast

Rule number one when staying somewhere as a houseguest: respect the preferences of the host.

The best way to show gratitude for somebody allowing you to stay in their home for any amount of time is to be mindful of the kind of living environment that they prefer to have, especially if they are hosting you at short notice. For many, having people stay at their house is a big disruption. Although on one level, this can't be helped, it should not stop you from being respectful.

It is true that some people are not the most welcoming in their homes, and it can prove an unpleasant experience for the guest. However, there is a simple solution to that—just don't stay with them, and certainly don't try to push their boundaries for the sake of it. Not only does this have the potential to cause a lot of unnecessary drama, but it can also blacklist you from ever being invited over again.

Author image for Ally Perry Ally Perry
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  • a banana and a plate with a fork and knife on it balanced on the edge of the sink
    via Eduardo Escalante
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  • In this story, one woman struggled to adapt when her older sister and brother-in-law decided to stay at her place for the whole weekend after she invited them over on Friday night. Introverted and potentially neurodivergent, she had a difficult time with their entitled and disorganized attitude towards visiting her. In particular, her brother-in-law proved a difficult person to be around. 

    Things came to a head when they were eating together, and her sister apologized for accidentally scraping her cutlery on her plate. It was a noise that caused a painful reaction in her. When this was explained to her brother-in-law, he decided to do it on purpose, leading to her claiming she would kick them out if it happened again. The couple were offended, and she wanted to know if she had taken things too far.

  • Am I wrong for threatening to kick my brother-in-law out of my home for purposefully irritating me?

    So this happened yesterday. My (F29) sister (F32), lets call her Alice, and her new husband (M32), lets call him Sam, came to stay with me for the weekend. Initially I'd only invited them for Friday night game night, but they sort of invited themselves to stay the weekend. It's a little annoying, but they're in the middle of moving to my area from across the country so I can be a little flexible for them.
    via RWBYYanging
  • I barely know Sam, only meeting him a handful of times, and he really wants to be like a big brother to me. I live alone and I'm very introverted and nerodivergent, though not officially diagnosed. From the start they both were just a little overly entitled and disrespectful, first claiming they'd arrive at a certain time, then pushing that time back a couple hours, then not arriving till two hours after that. They were 4 hours late from the original plan.
    via RWBYYanging
  • a man smiles as he applies a face mask in front of a mirror
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • There was more as well, but basically I was getting irritated, but was still being a gracious host. Sam started to try to lowkey insult me as a form of joking around, calling me a little child and that no adult listens to the whining of a little child like me, and then calling me boastful when I tried defending myself, which made me feel my patience getting thin with him specifically.
    via RWBYYanging
  • I have a sensory issue with forks and knives scraping against bowls and plates. Like, it literally is painful for me to the point I have to cover me ears and my whole body flinches. While we were eating Alice accidentally scraped her knife on the plate, and apologized to me. It wasn't too bad, then when she explained to Sam why she apologized he took his fork and purposefully ground it against his plate to make that horrible screeching sound while staring right at me with a grin on his face. I i
    via RWBYYanging
  • They changed their plans right away and left an hour later, very upset at me for saying that to him. TL;DR BIL purposefully made a horrible noise that hurts me and I warned him I'd kick him out of he did it again. AITA for warning that I'd kick him out if he did that again?
    via RWBYYanging
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  • a woman sits at a table, looking down at a plate of toast
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • bfnch NTA. Sam's a
    via bfnch
  • mama_d63 It's not playful teasing, it's deliberate bu ying. Your sister's husband is the ah_le and if I were you I'd tell her right now that he is no longer welcome in your home. And please get evaluated and get a diagnosis. There are a lot of resources out there. ΝΤΑ
    via mama_d63
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  • Donutsmell NTA. your brother-in-law is a childish instigator, and your sister needed to shut that crip down. Instead, she took his side. I feel bad that they are moving closer to you.
    via Donutsmell
  • Straight_Coconut_317 NTA. Sam is not your sibling.
    via Straight_Coconut_317
  • archetyping101 NTA You have a sensory issue and your sister is aware enough to apologize and explained it to Sam. Sam INTENTIONALLY made a noise and grinned while doing this, knowing full well how much it hurts you. That's ride to do to ANYONE and especially in your home.
    via archetyping101
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  • Teasing someone with a sensory issue by doing the thing that pains them? Absolutely not. They're adults and if they're supposed to be your "big brother", wouldn't you be sensitive? Or does he take "big brother" to mean bu¨¸y and j like some big brothers are to their younger siblings?
    via archetyping101

  • The woman provided an update on the situation.

    Edit: Just wanted to give a little aftermath. My sister insisted over and over again that I was being dramatic for taking it that far, and when I told her what Sam did was disrespectful, she insisted it wasn't and that he was just playfully teasing to try to get a rise out of me, like siblings are supposed to
    via RWBYYanging
  • Second edit: I just remembered another incident. I am celiac and my home is fully gluten free. I reminded my sister long before their visit and asked them not to bring any gluten to my home. They brought a wheat based cereal, knowingly, into my home, though they brought a bowl and disposable cutlery to minimize the chance of cross contamination. Im still upset about this
    via RWBYYanging
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